What do we do when we realize we have been disobedient? Where do we go when we have rejected our calling? Who do we ask to take the weight of our grief when God withdraws His Spirit from us? We are left like a house abandoned, with our doors broken down and our windows busted out. All we are fit for then is a rodent haven or other vermin. We realize that there is no longer any joy within our walls, and any sound made is just the wind rushing through our empty rooms. The only shelter we can provide anyone is the transient that needs a quick shelter to get out of the rain. And, the worst part of all is that, in our pain and grief, we realize that we made a decision to go against God's instructions, and the result is our own doing.
I have heard people say that God is a God of second chances. I know this to be true, because He has dealt with me many times when I was reluctant to do what He asked, or put down what He told me to put down. But, sometime in our life, we will be faced with a decision--something that may seem unimportant to us, in our way of thinking. But, there are times when we get only one chance to say "yes" to His request. And, our response to Him will determine whether we are worthy to move to the next stage of our calling. If not, then we stop at that point. There is nowhere to sit and rest from the emptiness. It fills and consumes us, and we are left with no direction and no purpose.
How do we get past our blatant disobedience? Is there ever any hope of our relationship with God being built back? Have enough decay set in that our walls are falling down, and we become nothing more than a relic for people to wonder about, and create an eyesore in our neighborhood?
We know that Scripture is filled with life-lessons that should be heeded, and disobedience has a few examples written in to help answer some of the heart wrenching questions that we must ask ourselves when our disobedience tears our life apart.
One of the reasons for disobedience comes from us thinking too highly of ourselves, in whatever talent, skill or training that we have. Paul, in 2 Corinthians 10, verses 4 and 5 says: The weapons of our warfare are not according to the flesh, but of the power of God, and by it we bring under control rebellious strongholds within us, and we pull down our own imaginations and everything that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take all thoughts prisoner to the obedience of The Messiah.
This is one of the first places we make a mess of things. We have our own idea how God should be, based on denomination, doctrine, and/or what the pastor says, instead of relying on God Himself through His word, and through His communication with us. (Yes, God does still speak to His people! He has not changed! If anyone is not hearing Him, then that person should give his/her spiritual house a thorough cleaning to see what has the sound muffled.)
Paul goes on to says, verses 7 and 12: Do you look at things only as they appear in front of your face? If a man trusts upon himself that he is of The Messiah, let him know this from his soul, that as he is of The Messiah, so also are we....For we are not bold to number or compare ourselves with some of those who flaunt themselves. But, they themselves, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves with themselves, are without understanding.
And, here again, we find the attitude that will quickly bring on disobedience. As soon as God asks us to do something that we are uncomfortable with because of our own way of thinking, then we have already invited the enemy into the discussion. If we already put God in a denominational box, the enemy will do whatever it takes to keep Him there. Those things will probably look like whispers of pride and arrogance running through our brains that makes us question what we are learning. Something important to remember: If our measuring stick is broken or has been tampered with to show imprecise delineations, the outcome will not be correct.
There are a few characters in Scripture that had "one shot" to get it right, but different things got in the way. The first one was Esau. And it did not happen to him once, but twice. Genesis 25:29-34: Jacob boiled stew. Esau came in from the field, and he was famished. Esau said to Jacob, "Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am famished." Therefore his name was called Edom. Jacob said, "First, sell me your birthright." Esau said, "Behold, I am about to die. What good is the birthright to me?" Jacob said, "Swear to me first." He swore to him. He sold his birthright to Jacob. Jacob gave Esau bread and stew of lentils. He ate and drank, rose up, and went his way. So Esau despised his birthright.
Genesis 27:38-40 Esau said to his father, "Have you but one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, my father." Esau lifted up his voice, and wept. Isaac his father answered him, "Behold, of the fatness of the earth will be your dwelling, and of the dew of the sky from above. By your sword will you live, and you will serve your brother. It will happen, when you will break loose, that you shall shake his yoke from off your neck."
Hebrews 12: 14-17Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man will see the Lord, looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it; lest there be any sexually immoral person, or profane person, like Esau, who sold his birthright for one meal. For you know that even when he afterward desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for a change of mind though he sought it diligently with bitter tears.
There have been times in my life that I have read the story of Esau and wept at what he must have felt in his rejection from the one who loved him most. If we are willing to give up our Godly position for a fleshly desire, then how can we be trusted to carry out any thing that God gives us to do? If we think that God plays favorites in the same way we humans do, and bet that against the calling He has given us, we will lose. And, no matter how much we regret those actions, or the thoughts that caused the actions, there are times when we just get one chance. Because once is all it takes for our true colors to show through, and God wants loyalty, not rebellion.
Another one-shot-deal was Saul. 1 Samuel 15:10-11,16-19, 24-29,34-35: Then the word of Yahweh came to Samuel, saying, "It grieves me that I have set up Saul to be king; for he is turned back from following me, and has not performed my commandments." Samuel was angry; and he cried to Yahweh all night....
Then Samuel said to Saul, "Stay, and I will tell you what Yahweh has said to me last night." He said to him, "Say on." Samuel said, "Though you were little in your own sight, weren't you made the head of the tribes of Israel? Yahweh anointed you king over Israel; and Yahweh sent you on a journey, and said, 'Go, and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.' Why then didn't you obey the voice of Yahweh, but took the spoils, and did that which was evil in the sight of Yahweh?"...
Saul said to Samuel, "I have sinned; for I have transgressed the commandment of Yahweh, and your words, because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, please pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship Yahweh." Samuel said to Saul, "I will not return with you; for you have rejected the word of Yahweh, and Yahweh has rejected you from being king over Israel." As Samuel turned about to go away, Saul grabbed the skirt of his robe, and it tore. Samuel said to him, "Yahweh has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day, and has given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you. Also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent; for he is not a man, that he should repent."...
Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went up to his house to Gibeah of Saul. Samuel came no more to see Saul until the day of his death; for Samuel mourned for Saul: and Yahweh grieved that he had made Saul king over Israel.
It's a little harder to feel pity for Saul, than for Esau, because his disobedience was further reaching in some ways. Although he did not stop being king, the Spirit of God removed itself from him, and he no longer had God's favor or blessing. The extent of his disobedience was acting on blatant disregard for God's instruction, and fear of the people. Those two attributes of the enemy are ingredients that, if let run rampant, will destroy our loyalty to God in a moment. If we find ourselves in the place of Saul, we might not lose our earthly or physical position in life, but we will know no peace until we leave this world, just as Saul didn't.
The best way to not fall into a trap of the enemy cheating us out of our blessing, favor and joy, is to remain humble before God, read what happened to different characters in Scripture, and learn from their experience. That which has been is that which shall be; and that which has been done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9 We might live in a different time, a different culture, and on a different continent, but heartache is still heartache, pain is still pain, and joy is still joy, in all peoples, at any time, past, present or future,
This writing stems from my heartache after ministering to a woman suffering the emotional pain of a traumatic and abusive past, almost every day for the last nine months. Not just through texts or phone calls, but visits that lasted most of the day several times a week. She became my friend, and in a lot of ways, became like a sister. But, just a few days ago, she decided that the calling that God was placing on her life was not worth the sacrifice of what He was asking her to give up. She ultimately did not want to give up her pain, her victim status, or pride in her own accomplishments that, in her eyes, outweighed God's blessing....When we women have children, there is a lot of pain and suffering, but a crying baby at the end of it all makes the pain worthwhile. But, some women go through all of the pain and agony of having a child, only for it to be stillborn. God wants us to be rid of the pain from our past, and will plant a seed in us that will grow into something wonderful that will bless us for the rest of our lives. But, others go through the process of having that seed planted, feel it develop, decide to be disobedient, and then have nothing to show for all the pain they have been through.
I beseech all who read this to go through your spiritual inventory, and see where obedience is needed, and do whatever it is that God is asking. You will never get back less than whatever it is He is asking you to give up or do. It might be the only chance you get. Eve had to take only one bite.....
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